Happy - feeling or showing pleasure or contentment. This is this one constant emotion that I’m looking for in my life there are so many moments in my life that I’ve been happy but so few of those moments I wasn’t thinking when that moment would end and when would the other shoe drop. I want to be happy without worry or fear. I just want to be in that moment and have it last to feel that happiness inside myself so I can see it as well. So my question to myself have I ever truly been happy? It’s very true I have a problem with letting go of everything do its automatic for me to go to the negative emotion always. Literally, I can tear up a moment over think it and kill it in mind before anything has even happened. If I’m over thinking everything then I trying to figure out not to get hurt or have my feelings. But what I’ve learned about my life is that in doing that I have let my fear overtake me and I haven’t been happy because I’ve been trying to protect myself and my emotions and that has held me back from so many things, opportunities and experiences. I have done this because I didn’t want to hear no, be rejected or didn’t want someone no to like me. Doing all those things has slowly taken my happiness from me and put it onto other people both good and bad people but I’ve let it happen. Just this moment I’ve realized this and even though it’s hard to ask the question: Why aren’t you happy? And the answer is me and as much I don’t want to admit that its the truth. It hard to realize that I have let negative thoughts and fear rule my life for at least the past 12 years it a hard revelation but its the truth. So now the question is how am I gonna stop the negativity and truly be happy?